Archive | Family RSS feed for this section

First Day back to work

3 Jan

Today is my first full day back to work. The days leading up to now were a lot harder then I expected them to be. The thought of being apart from the life form that up until now has been by my side almost 24 hrs a day started to sound wrong. My maternal instincts were saying, “how can you abandon your child?!” “He needs you!” After rationalizing with myself I was determined to make the best of it. Thank God I’m blessed to have wonderful family support particularly my mother in law and my mama to help us out during this time. That being said I have no doubt in my mind that my child is being cared for. Where does that leave me….

-I am thankful for a job that helps pay for my benefits to keep my family healthy

-I am thankful for my breast pump which allows me to nourish my baby even from far away.

-I’m endlessly thankful for my loving supportive husband to keep my spirits up and keep me reassured.

So it leaves me feeling thankful for all the support. Though my heart may be aching for the sweet snuggles of my son I know that everything is gonna be okay, and at 3:45 he will be back in my arms. 

Henry Joseph Tiberius Cornish

3 Jan

This is about 4 months late getting posted but I thought I would share my birthing story for those of you interested.

What a beautiful life I’m living now that your in the world;)

 
Also here is a video I made to capture some highlights of my pregnancy and Henry’s arrival<3 ❤ ❤

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EjlmTDXTnm4 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EjlmTDXTnm4 
September 1st, I went to work just like any other day. My due date wasn’t for another week so I decided to work until I no longer physically could. At this point the worst part was backache and heartburn. It was significant but I was determined to work as long as I could.

 

That evening we were offered some tickets to the Lobo football game. Being so pregnant on a work night I would usually say no but it was in the box suite so … free dinner and comfortable seating. Against my better judgement I ate 2 hot dogs along with some other things. We left at half time as it to get home too late. I needed rest for work the next day.

 

About 3am I woke up with what I thought were stomach cramps. I went back to bed and was woken up 30 min later with more pain. This time my stirring woke up Daniel. He jumped up and said something like, ‘are you having contractions!’ I was like no, just had too many hot dogs, bad idea! He started packing up things “just in case.” I’m glad he did because what I  thought was undigested food was the real deal..in about an hour the contractions were regular, strong and 3 min apart.

 

5am and I’m getting checked in. At this point my labor is fast and furious. 6 cm dilated and I was having extremely painful back labor. My water broke on the yoga ball and I continued to labor naturally. We moved to the bath which was very comforting to me. My helpful hubby jumped in with me ready to put pressure on my lower back with each contraction. I was in so much pain I stuck my whole head under the running water trying to get some relief.

 

We really worked through each contraction together. Daniel would count and that gave me the confidence that I could get through it and that there would be relief soon. My mom and mother in law were also there to give me a gentle touch and words of encouragement.   I deep breathed and focused all my energy into overcoming the pain.

 

When the Dr. came to check me at about 9:00am she gave me the news my little guy was sunny side up. Pushing him out vaginally was possible but was going to be challenging. With this extra obstacle and my already 10+ pain and 6 hrs of natural labor. I decided it would be in the best interest of me and my little one to ease mamas pain, so I could focus what little energy I had left to regain my strength. The epidural proceeded to come with its own difficulties. Staying still through major contractions to get a needle in the correct spot is a challenge but I had to have it done twice because he couldn’t get in it the right spot. After about an hour it was placed and I was begging for relief. My whole body was shaking vigorously the whole labor. It took some time but things started to ease up.

 

I was at 9 centimeters dilated and the doc suggested we stop my labor to try and get the baby turned into a better position. The nurses, the dr, and I did everything possible to try and turn the baby but he wouldn’t budge. Also during this time the baby’s heart rate dropped to a scary level and the dr was in full ready mode to take me in for a c section. Once they stopped the medication his heart rate went back up. He was gonna run this show.

 

During this whole ordeal I was so terrified I wouldn’t be able to get him out. We started pushing at 4:30pm and within the first few pushes everyone was so excited because they could see his head. Unfortunately he couldn’t get past my pelvic bone because of his awkward position. 2 hours later I was still pushing and losing the will to live. My husband tells this story best so I’ll insert his point of view here.

 

“It was an arduous and taxing arrival, as Henry lacked the space or desire to turn, instead remaining ‘sunny side up’ the whole way. After two hours of pushing, Dr. Solis looks an exhausted Tiffani Evangeline Cornish in the eye and gravely states ” If you aren’t able to get him out in the next thirty minutes, we are going to have to do an emergency Caesarian.” Tiffani, slumped against the side of her labor bed, oxygen flowing, closes her eyes, only to open them with a look of steely resolve; a look of legend, the like of which children sing songs into eternity. With that, mother and son worked together, mutually willing this new life into existence. Henry is born!

 

Upon being placed on his mother’s chest, his hands and mouth began searching for his source of life. Within seconds he was latched upon his mother’s breast, fueling for the life to come.”

 

Henry Joseph Tiberius Cornish was born at 6:25, weighing 7.06lbs and 18 1/2 inches long.
It was the hardest most beautiful thing I’ve ever done. This past month has been wonderful, exhausting, miraculous, emotional, painful and so many other things I can’t quite put into words. I’m so thankful for it all.

A wizard is never late…

22 Aug

 

“A wizard is never late nor is he early He arrives precisely when he needs to.”
-Gandalf

This is my motto from here on out concerning the arrival of our son:) We are 2 weeks-ish from his due date and I am taking the pressure off of this little one. I will try to make his home inside me as comfortable as possible until he is ready to meet us!

I’ve been keeping very busy this last month on my pregnancy. Daniel and I are trying to get our home in tip top shape, setting up the babies room, baby showers galore, day trips to the mountains, lots of crocheting and knitting, dog portraits all day long and the list goes on and on.

Highlights!

 

13615340_10155087900733242_301338221137312481_n

Hey buddy!

13640808_10155113227153242_2357107652298053290_o

13653286_10155113228763242_7244307461085777925_o

From my pie baby shower:)

13767147_10155103826433242_4426942437380462072_o

Some of my Art:)

13872677_10155136253188242_2867821158875383121_n

Vintage and new books for the child:)

13872787_10155113227748242_7171595258683031642_n

I had a PIE Themed baby shower! It was the bomb!

 

13891980_10155166139858242_8867463709652487759_n

Babies first crocheted blanket made by mama:)

13903261_10155137748753242_1887308359662900725_n

Our new baby Olivia the Subaru! Soccer mom realness!

 

13925454_10155113230728242_2222856819449259267_o

My mama feeling the baby kick. I adore this woman ❤

13934916_10155157219658242_2032780453339771721_n

Jemez day trip with the puppies:)

14045540_10155157219113242_61028362625492026_n

 

Where do I belong?

27 Mar

Since I have entered my adult years I’ve have been presented with harsh realities about life. Not only does adulthood come with more responsibilities it comes with more knowledge, and more desire to find the truth. As a child its easy to listen to your elders and take everything they told you to be true. Things like right and wrong were really easy to decipher and now there is so much grey area I can basically use logic to argue anything. Whether that “logic” is sound is yet to be discovered.

As a child who grew up in a non-denominational christian household I learned to love and trust in God. We didn’t attend church regularly, we actually didn’t belong to one church. My grandmother was my biggest influence in my spirituality. She taught me from the bible, she sang hymns with me, she showed me that god was love and that he would always take care of me my whole life.  I believed in heaven and hell and was taught you could only get to heaven through Jesus. Even through all my struggles I believe this to be true, but it has still been hard to accept it full heartedly without doubt like I used to back when I was in my youth. My heart has been left wanting, craving more spirituality in my life and I find myself fearing death now more than I ever had. Everything seems so temporary more now than ever. Its like wow life is so short. I ask questions like, what am I doing with my life? am I a good person? will I go to heaven? what will happen when I die? To me these are questions people who have doubt in their heart ask. I don’t want doubt in my heart. I hate it.

I look to spiritual leaders to guide me on my journey but every group I find has something that I don’t feel exactly right with. There is something that man can do to something so pure that I have trouble trusting anyone in the religious community. I’ve always associated myself as a “non denominational” christian because organized religion to me can be easily corrupted. On the other hand I believe as humans we need to have fellowship and communion with other that share your faith. Its hard to be strong on your own. I wish had a place to go where I felt like I belonged, somewhere where I could grow as a christian. Somewhere where I could feel like I could be closer to God. I want to learn about his teachings but I have a hard time learning on my own. My biggest fear is I cannot instill Gods love into my children.

As I write this I can’t help but feel like people I am friends with are horrified. That they think I’m a lunatic, that I’m going to poison my children with fantasies and not let them make there own decisions about life.  Its so hard because the society we live in today makes me feel suffocated. I feel like if I tell someone I have christian beliefs I’m automatically someone who is dangerous, someone who needs to be educated about science, someone that is bigoted…but that couldn’t be further from the truth.I think science rocks. I love everyone. I have friends from every walk of life and I would dare judge them or condemn them, I just love them. That’s all. So I hope people can just love me. Here I am defending my self preemptively before I’m even attacked. I wish I didn’t feel that way, but after seeing the way people, even my friends, can be so narrow minded scares me.

Back to my struggle. Not that the above paragraph isn’t apart of the struggle. Now that it is getting closer to Easter I feel so hopeless of finding a church to go to. I want to be in fellowship with my community celebrating the resurrection of Christ. I want a rebirth of my own spirituality. I want to learn what God wants me to do with my life, I want to be strong enough in my faith that I can share his love with my children. How do I do these things. I pray but they feel empty, I feel distant, I feel sad. My brain can’t explain everything but my heart feels things my brain can’t understand. I’ve always been one to follow my heart. Kinda off point but  why do all the “non denominational” churches have to have rock concerts with smoke machines and light shows. I’m I the only person that just wants some pure acoustic sounds to praise to.

I have so many unanswered questions. Why can’t my brain be soothed with faith? I see spiritual leaders in high profile “non denominational” churches saying things that I believe spreads hate. Not only do I feel like I can’t accept them, I don’t feel like they can accept me. I can’t deny things like evolution and science. I’m hard headed, I’m not a good follower, I am a free thinker. I love Harry Potter.

Is there a place for me out there? Are there more of you out there?

 

 

Whats new..Changes

20 Aug

Look at me, absent from my blog again for over a month. boo. I know.

August 2013 as been one of my more difficult months that I’ve encountered in a while. I’m currently going through many huge transitions in my life and they just keep coming at me.

Daniel, my husband, started Law School this month. He has also been rehearsing for a show about 4 to 5 nights a week. So between those two things we really haven’t really spent quality time together. I am unbelievable happy and proud of him for getting into law school and I am fully on board to be as supportive for him as possible do not misunderstand me, but having the lack of intimacy and quality time has really made me kinda absent in my other activities. We just need to settle into a balance. I know it will come but until then I need to realize that I’m not going through this change alone, we are doing it hand in hand.

Change, change is necessary I believe to have a fulfilled life. Stagnation kills the spirit. Even though change is hard its absolutely essential to life. I truly believe that. My closest friend got the chance to experience the change that I think she really needed in her life. Her change was to leave a job that she had been at for many years, excelled at, but at the same time I believe was sucking the life out of her. Without any more room for learning experiences or promotion she left the job to pursue a new exciting fun opportunity that was presented to her unannounced. We worked together in the same office.  I don’t really like to talk about work much. Its a dreary place. We made the best of it. Having her here really brightened my day. It was nice having someone that would smile, or say something nice about your outfit, instant message about some obscure subject that came to mind. We got to know each other and made a connection that I hope will last forever. So that being said, I am now going through a change with her leaving. The office is dimmer to say the least without the big boisterous red curls that she had. They are still looking to fill the position and me being promoted into it was passed around the table, but unfortunately in the end I was found to not be a good fit and I have come to terms with that. Her position carries a lot of stress with it and I will be happy to support whoever they deem worthy to perform that job. I just really hope they bring someone in that is enthusiastic about life, smiles, and says good morning to me:)

I don’t really know how to end this, I’m still dealing with the changes. I’ve been sicker than a dog for the past 8 days and counting (going to the Dr. again today) so that has made August even more fun. Even though I’m a promoter of change this doesn’t mean I am the best at dealing with it. I’m over it August, bring on September.

Thing to look forward to..

Not being sick anymore, getting back on my workout schedule, being able to taste food again, have a beer, Black Milk’s release of Harry Potter, Cooler weather, SOCKS (I love sock season), Scarves, boots, Balloon Fiesta, Pumpkin Patch, Hot drinks, Halloween, HOildays! Okay I just got myself all kinds of excited:)

Bye!

Fun Filled Weekend

22 Apr

This weekend was really jam packed with things and I didn’t quite get everything I wanted to get done done, but it was really fun.

Friday we were pretty tired from the week so instead of cooking we went to Sprouts and got all our favorite little snacks and finger foods and we noshed. There was hummus, olives, cheese, french bread, roast beef, horseradish, whole grain mustard, poblano peppers, tomatoes, cucumbers, and some Castlerock Pinot noir. Afterwards we decided  go see Oblivion. I don’t really like going to the movies, I always feel like I’m getting ripped off, but we had free tickets from a while back and this was a movie that I was pretty interested in. I happen to LOVE sci fi, especially post apocalyptic movies. So we went to see Oblivion with Tom Cruise. I got really comfy in a hoodie and leggings ( I hate being uncomfortable and cold in the movies) put a scrunchy in my hair and we went. I really liked this movie, it had a nice little twist that I kinda guessed before it happened. Its weird, I might be the only one that does this, but when I watched the film I kept getting distracted by the personal beliefs of Tom Cruise and how he must really like doing Sci Fi films because of how it falls in line with his religion (which I don’t know too much about) I do have to say I really liked the movie, and I got to see my precious King Slayer, Jamie Lannister. (Can’t get enought GoT)

So on Saturday we went to the dog park. After being there for about 30 min we realized our dogs weren’t really having too much fun. Lily is kinda a loner and a little grouchy, and Molly is a alpha and wouldn’t let any dog smell her, get near her, or play. So we noticed a little patch of grass that was between two baseball fields that was vacant so we took the dogs there and played frisbee. It was a beautiful day and we really enjoyed ourselves. I have to say seeing my dogs happy and getting fresh air has to be one of the most satisfying things. I wish I had grass in my backyard. We are going to try to plant some this year. NM is just so dry and I hate feeling bad for using up our states water so I can have a lawn, but we are going to try a really resistant hardy grass.

After that we were exausted and accidentally took a 3 hour nap. When we woke up we went to a local brewery “La Cumbre” and picked up a growler of hefe for Daniel’s Dads Birthday. We went over and had beer, margarita’s, yummy appetizers, yuca, and pernil. Pernil is a way of cooking pork, Daniel’s step mom is from Panama and there food is pretty awesome. I think the highlight of the night for Daniel was playing with his little sister Sabina and doing experiments with her science kit.

Sunday it was Daniels B-Day Celebration with his friends and he wanted to go to HInkle Family Fun Center. Its not my favorite places (I like to avoid places with sticky children and all the chaos that comes with winning tickets and standing in line) But my husbands inner child loves this place and if it makes him happy then I am happy. We actually had a really fun time. I will post the pictures below! We finished the day off at O’Niells one of our favorite local irish pubs. We sat outside on the patio, and enjoyed good food and good drinks. Great way to finish of the weekend!

Friday Night Nosh

ImageSaturday Morning Park

ImageImageImageImage

Saturday Night Dinner

ImageImage

Image

Image

Sunday

ImageImageImageImageImageImage

Lobo Nails

4 Mar

These were really fun to do and show some LOBO Pride, I LIVE LOVE LOVE college b-ball and I’m lucky to live here because our team is amazing and the PIT is a great place to watch some basketball, these were for the game against Sam Diego St, which we won;) Were #1 in the conference and will dominate the MWC Tourney! I’ll post some pictures from the game as well, keep a look out for my dads head;)

20130304-165203.jpg

me and my brother holding my dads head! He loved it, he was freaking out when he saw it!

20130304-165230.jpg

20130304-165242.jpg

20130304-165304.jpg

20130304-165319.jpg

20130304-165340.jpg

20130304-165353.jpg